In Which There Aren't Any Words

I just sobbed like a girl in front of my dad.
This was when I went downstairs to get a glass of water and he asked, "What's wrong?"

There aren't any words that can accurately describe what nights like this are like. Imagine sitting at the bottom of a pit, in agonizing silence, and in total darkness– being stripped of all hope to ever see the light of day. Imagine a situation where answers are just as necessary as oxygen, and you're on the verge of drowning. You try to keep afloat by hanging on to your logic, and your ability to figure things out; only this time, both fail.

Both situations render you useless, and it kills your soul. You lose the will to push forward and the strength to keep trying. Instead of praying for help, you beg for a swift and painless death just to end it all. The sadness is just too heavy some nights, and I'm terrified of the time when I'm just not strong enough.